I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
