I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
