i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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