I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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