ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
