I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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