what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Just pee around me
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
