Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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