I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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