i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
