k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
