You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
