"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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