I'm jealous of your bromance
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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