On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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