i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
