He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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