I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
