i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
