I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
