Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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