Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
It's shark week go big or go home
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
