You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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