oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
