Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
