WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
