she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
