dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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