So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
