Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
