Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Someone stole a lamp last night.
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