Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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