He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
