I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
oh god the rape fog is back!
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
