your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
