Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
