did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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