I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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