I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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