Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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