I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Can I color on your dick again?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
