I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
