I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
