I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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