I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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