I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
