SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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