This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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