I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
