i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
