It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
