dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
