can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
