i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
