She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
