I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
