Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
