Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
