I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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