this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
