booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Randomize
