Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
It's shark week go big or go home
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
